{"id":47,"date":"2020-05-25T09:44:03","date_gmt":"2020-05-25T09:44:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/quiltypleasure.org\/?p=47"},"modified":"2020-09-15T03:40:24","modified_gmt":"2020-09-15T03:40:24","slug":"chocolate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quiltypleasure.org\/index.php\/2020\/05\/25\/chocolate\/","title":{"rendered":"Chocolate\u2026 Gimme!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The Top 20 Reasons Chocolate is Better than Sex<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1<\/strong>. First of all, you can actually get<\/em><\/strong> chocolate.
2<\/strong>. With chocolate, “if you really love me, you’ll swallow”
finaly, finally<\/strong><\/em> makes some sense.
3<\/strong>. Chocolate can keep on satisfying you \u2014 even after <\/em>
it’s gone all soft.<\/em>
4<\/strong>. You can legally<\/strong> enjoy chocolate while driving.
5<\/strong>. Chocolate can be as dark and hard \u2014 and last as long<\/em> \u2014
as you want it to.
6<\/strong>. You and a friend can have chocolate on your kitchen
table right in front of your own Mother.<\/em>
7<\/strong>. You like to nibble the nuts? Chocolate ain’t complaining.
8<\/strong>. Two or more consenting adults of any gender<\/em> and ethnicity
can have chocolate together right there in Church without
raising a single eyebrow.
9. <\/strong>Chocolate isn’t scared off by the idea of commitment. It just
wants you<\/strong><\/em> to be happy.
10<\/strong>. You can have chocolate at work, right there on your desk in <\/em>
front of all your co-workers,<\/em> without causing even a
whiff of scandal.
11<\/strong>. You can walk right up to any stranger on the street<\/em> and ask
for chocolate without getting arrested for solicitation.
12<\/strong>. Chocolate doesn’t leave annoying hairs between your teeth.
13<\/strong>. There’s absolutely no need to fake it, not with chocolate.
14<\/strong>. Chocolate won’t get you pregnant and then leave you for
another dessert.
15<\/strong>. You can have chocolate no matter time of the month it is<\/em> \u2014
and at any hour, too.
16<\/strong>. Everywhere you go, it’s really easy to find incredible<\/strong> chocolate.<\/em>
17<\/strong>. You can have as much chocolate as you can handle and as
many different kinds.
18<\/strong>. You’re never too young \u2014or too old\u2014 to have some chocolate.
19<\/strong>. If you wake up in the middle of the night and have a whole
bunch of steamy hot chocolate,<\/em> you won’t wake the neighbors.
20<\/strong>. Size<\/strong>\u2026 it really<\/em> doesn’t matter with chocolate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n
\"\"
Oh, hi Mommy\u2026<\/em><\/strong> um\u2026 so\u2026 uh\u2026 funny<\/strong> thing\u2026 it turns out\u2026 I really like chocolate after all !<\/strong> <\/em>
Um\u2026 isn’t that great<\/em>? Uh\u2026 Mommy?<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Top 20 Reasons Chocolate is Better than Sex 1. First of all, you can actually get chocolate. 2. With chocolate, “if you really love me, you’ll swallow” finaly, finally makes some sense. 3. Chocolate can keep on satisfying you \u2014 even after it’s gone all soft. 4. You can legally enjoy chocolate while driving. … <\/p>\n

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